Sunday, September 2, 2012

My How Things Have Changed…

I was so excited about my numbers and progress today that I just wanted to come on and give a quick update. 

Life has changed so much over the last 6 months or so...seriously sometimes I honestly believe that some alien has taken over my body and replaced the girl that I used to be with this woman that is confident, happy, motivated, and working hard to get to where she wants to be.  I will say that I know that life isn't always perfect but today and lately so many of my days...have. been. so. GOOD!!!!

Official I have lost 19.1 pounds lost during month two.  While part of me is a little sad that the weight loss is slowing down I totally expected it to happen so it's not a surprise and in fact in some ways I think it makes want to work even harder to keep posting those types of numbers. It's really true, just like people on OH say, the most weight and the easiest time to lose weight is during the first few months and after that it drops off significantly. Since I know I have a LONG way to go and a lot to lose I am doing my best to stick with it and keep as motivated as I can be and NOT always focus so much on how MUCH I have lost but more on how good I feel and that I'm working to be the healthiest that I can because that's what's truly important. 

Yesterday I responded to one of the OH members about her post on moving your body and getting exercise and what I said was the following: (some portions removed to shorten post here...see original on OH here)
"...I am trying to learn not to view "activity" as exercise. I like swimming so I try to go to the indoor heated pool in my complex (going this evening as a matter of fact). As I sit here typing I am multi-tasking by couponing and getting ready to go to the grocery store and do so shopping and then come back and tomorrow making some good food for the week for me. 
Yesterday I cleaned, washed dishes, washed clothes, etc. and I notice now, more than ever, I have A LOT more energy to do those types of things where as in the past it would have taken me a whole MONTH to get around to them. Heck I even don't mind walking down and taking out the trash as opposed to toting it to the car and then driving down to dump it.  
I guess what I am saying is that, at least for me who started this journey at over 400 pounds, I am learning to love activity and exercise anyway that I can get it but I have to get the mindset out of "exercise" and just think of it as having fun in some way. Last weekend for the FIRST TIME EVER IN MY LIFE I went to a Belly Dance fitness class. I look forward to going again next weekend (they were closed this weekend due to the holiday coming up).  I just notice now that things are moving much easier for me in terms of flexibility, etc. and I love it. Sometimes I walk so fast I almost feel that I can't keep up with myself and I know it's because I am so much lighter on my own two feet. My feet and ankles don't swell anymore and I don't wake up feeling completely exhausted in the morning like I used to. 
...the thing long as I am moving. I may not be the fastest right now, or be able to endure the longest...but after 30 years of not moving my sure feels good to be able to do something with it other than lounge around watch TV (which...don't get me wrong...I still love to do haha)."
I am telling you this is SUCH a good change for me. I mean ALL SORTS of things are easier now...from the simple stuff to the not so simple. Heck today I even bent down while on the couch and painted my toenails. I can say it's been YEARS since I've been able to do that without having to sit up quickly or getting winded, etc. And when I left to go to the gym today it was about to as I got to the end of the entrance of my apartment building I decided to...


That's right! You heard me! ME! I! OF ALL PEOPLE! Actually let the word JOG be in the same sentence as my name! I cannot NOT friggin' believe it!!!!  And then to get to the gym and see 337.4 on the scale! I just cannot believe that 299 and the 200s is less than 40 pounds away! UNREAL I tell you! I want to slap myself! I'm so happy right now I could just cry.

Like I said earlier...I know life isn't always perfect but today...right is. GOOD.

I leave you with this quote and poem until next time...

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible."
~Arthur C. Clarke~

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Six Weeks (and three days) Out & Feeling Fine!

Hmmm… I think this blog is going to be a monthly thing unless I have something interesting to cover. That seems to work out well for me since I’m doing my best to get into the whole blogging thing. As you’ve heard me say before…I’m working on it. 

So what’s new since the last time we talked you ask? (Well since the last time that I wrote and you read haha)!  Well…


I am SOOO excited! I started this journey on March 20th of this year by beginning my pre-op Atkins diet (on my own) to lose the required 78.5 pounds prior to surgery. I am very proud of myself that between that and the liquid diet I was able to lose a total of 63 pounds prior to surgery.  

Words cannot express how good I feel that I have been able to accomplish this much of a loss in less than six months (5 ½ almost to be exact…or 149 days).  With losing that much that is about a 1.5 pounds per day lost.  I returned to see Dr. H on August 2 for my official one month post-op follow up and I am happy to report that I lost a whopping 31 pounds during my first month after surgery. 

I know already that I cannot and should not expect loss numbers that high going forward for a few reasons and I’m okay with that. Keep in mind that I am quoting and claiming 100 pounds lost because I weighed at the very end of the day yesterday so I know that for a large part I was retaining all of the water, bloat, and everything else that comes along with the day…including some bowel issues (TMI I know) but more on that later…

So one of the first things that I could not wait to do was to go over some of the wonderful changes that I have felt/seen/noticed since losing weight and since having surgery. On Obesity Help they are referred to as SVs and NSVs – Scale Victories and Non-Scale Victories for all of you non-op folks. I started writing this list yesterday before I headed to the gym to put my mind in the right place and here’s what I have come up with so far…
  • The veins in my hand
  • Finding/feeling/seeing knees, slim feet, various body parts as they appear
  • I can feel/see a neck emerging and collar bones coming through
  • I can really feel my hips
  • I can finally SEE a difference in the mirror
  • Most of my clothes are ENTIRELY HUGE.Money is tight so it'll be a while and I'm trying to figure a way to sell/consign some of my nicer items but it's a GREAT problem to have
  • Car seat is up further...and even more room between me and the steering wheel now
  • I have WAAAAY MORE ENERGY! Trips to do simple things don't make me SOOO tired
  • My face is slimming and becoming more defined (though I curse this damn fat waddle...leave already and let my neck shine through!!!)
  • I'm all wrinkly...and PROUD OF IT! I could take FLIGHT with my bat wings honey! Trust me! 
  • Other people that know me are beginning to notice
  • I've had nothing but positive support from family and friends (It’s great because if I didn't with these emotions I'd be going to jail if people were negative nasty Nelly’s)
  • I can touch my toes; pick up things easily when bending
  • I no longer touch the sides of the shower or the curtain when showering (OMG THIS IS SO FRIGGIN AWESOME because I am such a damn germaphobe even though they are my germs...EEWWW!)
  • All of my underwear are too big...and I refuse to buy new ones...I have so many to replace it would take a few paychecks LOL!
  • I had to go down in bra size...mind you my back fat is doing some weird things so the size isn't a dramatic change but's going in the RIGHT direction
  • On a whim today during my lunch break I went swimming in the pool at my complex (indoor heated). I have NEVER done that...and guess old bathing suit (that I just bought last summer) was too big so I tried on my Mom's (22W) and...IT FIT! Wasn't even "snug" or anything...*in my Austin Power's voice* Yeah Baby Yeah!
  • Trying on and NOT buying things is actually fun-the best part is NOT wearing the size I used to and knowing that, God willing, I never will again!
This mind you is just a short list and they keep coming EVERY SINGLE DAY. Since I work from home honestly it just has not been that hard to kind of think and determine what I want to eat each day and sort of plan it out before. Now this week I worked on Monday and then have had training for the rest of the week so I know that for next week I will have to be diligent and work on planning more ahead of time for each day so that when I do go to breaks/lunches I can just jump right in. 

As far as the exercise I’m working on it. I think I am going to pick up a Zumba DVD and I definitely like going swimming (even if for only a few minutes every other day) and then of course since I’m paying for it, I can start heading back to the gym.  I wish I was in a place to be able to afford weight training again because I think it would be good for me both for strength and for cardio but that may have to wait awhile. 

As for the vitamins from last time…I gave up on the Citracal. Whoever came up with the label “petite” should be drawn and quartered because those things are HUGE! Well…that’s all I can think of as an update for the first six weeks. Eating is going well, I’m doing what I am supposed to be doing, and I’m learning NOT to compare myself to others so that I don’t drive myself crazy with questions of whether or not I am doing something right or wrong. And of course…below you will some new pictures of me and my statistics so far…

Wonder Belly and I will talk to you soon! *MUAH*

**My Stats So Far**




Thursday, July 19, 2012

Food Plans, Eating, and LOTS of Leftovers

Well…where to begin. To start with things are going pretty well since my last update. I ended up calling my NUT (nutritionist for all you non-WLS people) early in the week of July 9 because I wanted to know what other things that I could incorporate into the full liquid diet. By this point I had tired of broths, clear liquids, Jell-O, and the like and—even though I wasn’t hungry and can honestly say I STILL really haven’t been hungry—I know I needed to get some sort of nutrition in.

Also like everyone said on Obesity Help, I am now SOOO over protein shakes. I had been using the Premier Protein RTD Shake (chocolate) since before surgery (don’t tell my surgeon but I SOOO substituted these some in place of Optifast…there is only so much a girl can take!) but even now they are just a little too thick/too sweet for me. 

So after speaking with Amanda we determined that as long as I wasn’t have any problems (pain, nausea, foamies-all the stuff that comes along with trying to reintroduce things to your new sleeve) that I could spend the next two days on full liquids and then move onto PUREED FOODS! WHOOO HOOO! 

Now just so that you get an idea, in our plan pureed foods does not mean that you ACTUALLY have to puree things (yeah chicken breast pureed just CANNOT be good). Basically she gave me the definition of anything that you can mash with your fork so things like…

Soft fish (tilapia, canned tuna, canned salmon) 
Chicken (canned or really REALLY moist and mushy chicken) 
Well cooked veggies 
Fat free refried beans 
Mashed potatoes (oooh it’s been so long) 
Cottage/Ricotta cheese 
Cream soups (I DO NOT WANT TO EAT ANY MORE SOUP EVER IN MY tired) Greek yogurt (low fat or light of course) 
Grits/Oatmeal (thin and runny)

Coming from someone who was previously enjoying the broth from Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup (my Mom was eating the noodles), pinto bean broth (OMG it was sooo good!), and Jell-O (if I never eat it again it will be too soon) I wanted to really enjoy the first thing that I ate in pureed foods. 

Since I am a true southerner I had to make it something that I have grown up with and really enjoy. So can you guess what it was? 


My Mom made them for me JUST RIGHT and they were that perfect thin, soupy consistency that you can only get from the perfect amount of water, time on the stove, and piece of American sliced cheese. And of course…I couldn't finish it all. 

So with that I have ventured into “pureed” foods and so far I love it. I can honestly say that I haven’t really been “hungry” in the true sense of the word…at least nowhere near how I would feel hunger previously but I’ve been really good about keeping up with mealtimes, separating them from drinking, and trying to build on getting in my protein.

SN: I already love the fact that I constantly have LEFTOVERS! For example…below is a tablespoon of cole slaw and 2 ounces of broiled baby shrimp from Mayflower Seafood. I got the broiled popcorn shrimp platter (baby shrimp with seafood seasoning and no breading) and just doubled the hush puppies for the side and gave them to Mom. This was purchases on Friday, July 13. I was STILL eating it as of Monday, July 16. That NEVER happens with me…NEVER. I have had leftovers and usually they make it home…and are gone the same night—definitely a welcome change. I LOVE saving money already because I buy less food and what I do buy lasts for several meals! 

Mind you I will be honest and tell you that I noticed that I skipped just a tad bit ahead in my eating plan since the beginning so I am reigning that back in now because I want to make sure that I have the MOST successful journey that I can in WL and I know that—logically—I need to **FOLLOW THE DAMN RULES**. So with that being said the next week or so I am gonna be working on my deli turkey/provolone cheese, chicken salad, egg salad, chili, and ricotta bake that I made (or Mom made) that’s already in the fridge. 

I did find that I had to puree the chili a little and I’ve even had mashed potatoes that were pretty good (homemade) but I found that the cheese I added really sat heavy so I may give up my shredded cheese for a little bit…it sits kind of heavy on Wonder Belly…

Yeah…you read that right…Wonder Belly…I am trying out different pet names for my sleeve and I haven’t really settled on one yet. But Wonder Belly is kind of cute...

As far as the rest of food goes I did get some vitamins finally… 
Centrum Multivitamin Orange Flavored Chewables – taste OK…I’ll deal with them for now Citracal Calcium Citrate+D3 Petites – HUGE! Not sure where they get "petite" from…ugh 
CVS High-Potency Vitamin D 5000 IU Softgels – Resuming from pre-op meds. YAY for small pills! 

And I found a great protein powder that I LOVE the taste of - Body Fortress Super Advanced Whey Protein Chocolate Peanut Butter. The stats on it are pretty good and you can’t beat 26g of protein in a single serving. I’ve been following the advice of one of my favorite OH buddies and using unsweetened Almond Milk instead of skim or 1% milk to help save on the calories and carbs and so far so good. And of course anytime I can add my Torani Sugar Free Caramel Syrup to enhance the flavor then all is well with the protein shake world. LOL! 

Well that’s all for now…I’ll post again in a few days to tell you about the fun I’ve been having watching the scale more some more and trying on a few clothes in Lane Bryant. 

As for your inspiration until next time…I thought this appropriate…

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A Post Op Update

YAY! I can finally count myself among those awesome folks known as post-ops! This is going to be a bit of a long update since it’s been a while since I was here last…I promise I’m trying to get better at this…I really am.

For starters as you can see from my last post I broke through that stall at 416 and then on down to under 400 finally and on the morning of surgery I was at 387.5 pounds. That’s 63 pounds lost PRE-OP! I know everyone keeps telling me how proud they are of me for reaching such a goal but a small part of me still is sort of sad that I wasn’t able to go into surgery achieving my surgeons 60 or under BMI goal of 372 pounds. But you know what…I’ll take it.

There is not a lot to tell about the endoscopy which is why I didn’t really make a whole post about it. I went in, had it done, and was ok afterwards (according to my Mom I “woke up” as a “Chatty Cathy.” I say “woke up” because apparently they don’t really put you all the way to sleep…it’s just some kind of short acting cocktail of anesthesia that sort of puts you in a “twilight” state. Not exactly what I wanted to hear since I cringe at anything remotely related to Twilight, ‘tweens, Bella, vampires, and Teenagers—all in that order. ICK.

Leading up to surgery like everyone else I had a few fears. I will tell you that I honestly relied on my faith for this one because I never once thought that I would pass away or anything like that. I knew logically that I have a better chance of being killed by a rabid squirrel rather than dying on that operating table but if I continued on the path that I was previously on being almost 500 pounds that I definitely could end up in a casket or at least on an oxygen tank before my 40th birthday.

Basically I just kept calm and level headed about the entire thing and I found that suited me even better than anything else. I did have to prepare a sheet with phone numbers of friends and family and my insurance info, etc. for my Mom to have just in case she needed that information and I even took the additional step to make a little note on the bottom that if I was incapacitated for any reason that she was to be the sole person to make any life changing or preserving decisions for me.  I think I have told her before (and it’s on my license) that I am an organ donor so that is something that we did not have to cover again.

The morning of surgery we got to Lake Norman Regional Medical Center a few minutes early (had to be there by 9:00 AM and we got there at like 8:50 AM so I had a few minutes to spare and get out of the car). When we got there we let the auxiliary staff (I think that’s what they call the elderly people that help out and volunteer there when they retire) know I was there for surgery and it wasn’t even 5 minutes before they called me back.

First thing they did was check my name, info, make sure I was who I said I was (how many times are they gonna ask you your birthday sheesh!) and then I weighed and had my Mom take my official pre-op picture.

After that I got changed into my Bear Paw Gown (same as I had during the endoscopy on June 1-see small blurb below) and my nurses got my IV started and Dr. Heider came in to see me to go over any last minute questions, etc. Finally they wheeled me off to surgery after I said goodbye to and kissed my Mom and off I went to the operating room to get some sleepy meds and wake up a member of the itty bitty belly committee! Bwahahahaha!

First thing I can remember after coming to was the PAIN! OH GOD THE PAIN! Now I will tell you having never had any other type of surgeries in my life it was WAAAAYYY less than what I had expected (in fact pain was the only thing that I was seriously worried about) but there was still pain none-the-less. I remember someone telling me that they were going to get me something for it and I briefly remember being in recovery at that point. The next thing that I can remember is waking up in my room and my Mom being there and she said I told her again that they hurt me. She said she was just so hurt at that thought and felt so helpless knowing that there was nothing she could do to help her baby (I know that feeling…I remember when she was in the hospital and thinking she looked so small and helpless :-( )

From that point forward I have been pretty lucky to have a smooth journey in terms of post-op life. The first day I was not allowed to have anything by mouth and the only thing that bothered me is just how dry my mouth and throat were. They gave me these swabs that looked like a big pink q-tip and then some that tasted like lemon drops (they had glycerin) on them but once I was able to drink after that horrid leak test, I was all good (SN: That stuff that you drink tastes like LEMON PLEDGE!!! UGHHHHH!).

After the leak test results came back and all was well I was able to start on ice water and later that afternoon they brought me a tray with decaf iced tea, lemon and orange sugar free gelatin (that tasted like hospital), and beef broth. I finished the orange gelatin, took a few sips of the tea, finished my water from earlier, and left the beef broth…it was nasty. (I have found that I only like the broth either from Campbell’s chicken noodle soup or homemade that my Mom makes).

Since I was doing well after seeing both my Bariatric Nurse Denise and my Nutritionist Amanda I was released to go “home” around 4 pm.  My Mom drove us to the Hilton Garden Inn across the street and I spent the rest of the night sipping and resting.

Now I am just a little bit perturbed about the hotel stay.  For one the “best” rate that we could get with a discount from LNRMC for Bariatric Surgery patients was $104 per night. But get this…I think we saw all of FIVE PEOPLE staying at the hotel the entire time I was there. I know it was a holiday and all (July 3-4) but considering they had NO guests virtually you would have thought that we would have been given some sort of a break or at least a better rate.  On top of that when I called downstairs the morning we were to check out to see if I could do a late checkout we were told that the latest that we could do was 12:00 PM! WHAT!?!!?!? SERIOUSLY!!?!?!?! Unless there was a tour bus of nuns that was due to arrive in Mooresville on the Fourth of July I think we quite frankly could have stayed in our room a little longer.  (For the record we only needed to stay until 1:00 PM as I had a friend that came to pick me up to drive me back home. I just wanted to be safe since I was still taking pain meds at this time).

To top it all off since we had to check out early and I didn’t want to overdo it with trying to move bags and stuff to the car my Mom and I went down about 11:15 to take some things to the car. Now before we left I looked carefully at our hotel room and noticed that the “DO NOT DISTURB” sign was promptly displayed. Do you know when we came back (and a lot of stuff was still in the room) that the housekeeping staff was actually cleaning our room! Really? That’s what we’re gonna do now? Just ignore the signs on the door? And when I stopped outside she had the nerve to ask, “Oh is this YOUR room?” No b**ch! I just saw an open doorway and thought I’d stand here with a gaping hole in my face until you noticed me!

Luckily they were out of the room pretty quickly, nothing was missing, and we finished packing, resting, and checked out on schedule at 12 noon. We then waited in the lobby for about an hour and a half until my friend Candace came to drive me back home. Thanks Candy! :-)

Since I’ve been home things have went really well. Today for instance I was able to get in about three bottles of water, my regular meds for blood pressure (back on those since surgery but I am thinking it won’t be long until I am off them for good!), lots of chicken noodle soup broth which seems to soothe my little belly, a sugar free popsicle, and I have even had chewable vitamins. Money is tight right now so I won’t really be able to get my official vitamins that I will be using until next week but somehow I’ll make it work.

I can tell you that no one was more shocked than me when I went to my first follow up appointment with Dr. Heider this am to have my JP Drain removed and saw the scale read 379! 379! 379?!?!? Seriously? An 8.5 pound weight loss in 4 days? OMG how is that even humanly possible? It defies logic I tell you! And yet…I’ll take it any way I can get it! HA!

(Yes…that is a gross blood clot that stayed in the drain until my surgeon took it out as it was too big to pass out when I had to drain it each night)

Everyone keeps telling me how proud they are of me and I of course always say thank you but I still don’t feel it quite yet. I know I’ve done an excellent job but the perfectionist in me will not be satisfied until I reach that first goal and make it to 200 pounds.  But the way things are going, I think it won’t be long until I get there.

Well…I’m tired. I need half of a pain pill (abdominal area still kind of sore when I try to lie down), and I want to see what Mom is up to in the living room. She’s watching her DVR’d “stories” LOL!

I think “Bebe” is starting to shine through and on that note I will leave you with this inspirational poster…

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

How I Started This Journey

Sorry that I haven't been around in a while. I am new to this whole blogging thing and even thinking that people would want to follow my story.
So for years I have talked about WLS and had previously even gone to seminars at both Duke and Wesley Long here in Greensboro but never really ended up making the move to do anything about it.

I remember that when I went to the presentation at Wesley Long that they took your weight as soon as walked in to register and I actually found that little post it note that was placed on the inside of the front cover of my folder back in 2008 (I think). At the time I was 458 pounds...not too far from what I weighed in on my initial consult with Dr. Heider back in March.

For some reason the staff and people I met at the other meetings just didn't click for me. I am the type of person to try a product or a service based on recommendations that I get from other people and in a neat kind of way that's how I came across Dr. Heider and the Center for Surgical Weight Loss at Lake Norman.

During 2011 I had two co-workers that had surgery with Dr. Heider. Over the course of a few months both of them ended up coming to me and talking to me about having WLS and what I had tried, etc. I will forever be grateful to both Ms. Betty B and Ms. Dorothy G for taking the time to share their experiences and trials with me in and convincing me to get started on becoming the me that I'm meant to be.

I have also been fortunate to have a PCP (primary care physician) who supports me in this endeavor. When I first started seeing Dr. MacKenzie and we finally had "that" discussion (you know...the one about my weight and what was I going to do about it) he mentioned to me that whenever I was ready to go down this path that he would be behind me 150%.

That being said when I had my first appointment this year in January with him I told him that I had already signed up to go to the informational meeting that was being held in February. Little did I know how quickly things would progress from there.

After attending that info session I set up an appointment that night to come in for a consult in March. I decided then to proceed with the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy and did my first weigh in with Dr. H. WHOA! 450.5 pounds! (I should note that even he didn't believe that I weighed that much, I guess I wear my weight well? *shrug*).

From that appointment I came away with a few things:
Surgery can happen in little as 6 weeks - it all depends on what my insurance requires (they required NO supervised diet but with the whole weight thing I did have to send them pictures of me over the last few years...more on that later)
I was going to HAVE to get my BMI down - he recommended doing 6 weeks of OPTIFAST (more on that later)
I was FINALLY going to get control of this weight that has ruled my life for the last 29 years and, God willing, before my 30th birthday I was going to do something about getting it going in the other direction.

So since then I have been in the "pre-operative" stage. I have been dieting (and experiencing my first STALL...DAMN YOU SCALE YOU WILL MOVE PAST 416!!!), and praying, and thinking, and preparing, and reading (OH is really a great resource), and talking, and walking, and moving, and planning, and trying to just get my life in order.

Between taking care of Mom, myself, and working I have a lot on my plate but I am determined that this is one item that I am definitely going to cross off my list before I am 30.

That's all for wrist is tired and I need to get to an early am appointment with the trainer at the gym *wink wink*

Peace, love, and VSG :o)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Waaay overdue post :o)

This post was intended for Friday, March 23, 2012…you can see how far behind I have been! EEEK!

So a little bit about me…

I am a 29 year old woman who works from home doing corporate business travel.  Since I am using my work computer to do this blog and everything can be monitored by “big brother” I won’t name my actual employer.  I have no ill will or feelings towards them and I’m back to doing something I love (more on that later) so no complaints.

I have a Mom (who lives in VA but has been staying with me for a while since eye surgery and some other happenings), I know my father but we’ve never had a relationship (trust me the psychiatrist is going to hear all about this when we talk…I know I have issues but I am committed to working on them), and I’m a pretty funny, independent, witty, loud, crazy, silly, caring, protective, loyal, saucy, tenacious, and sensitive human being.

And I’m fat…in case you hadn’t noticed.

The picture above is of me and my cousin at a “Family” picnic last August just after it started pouring and storming and we had to scurry and squeeze under the pavilion.

The picture is important for two reasons…1) It’s a really good picture of me smiling and looking happy-like most people my size I don’t like to take pictures often and 2) I can remember what was happening right before we took the picture…my cousin and I tried to use umbrellas and stay right on the side of the pavilion…she was somewhat successful but by the time it was said and done I was completely drenched on my back because as always, my fat was sitting out like a sore thumb.

Things like this are always happening to me because of my weight…I can’t even begin to count how many experiences that I’ve had in my lifetime where my weight has affected me one way or the other but here is a short list:

Jobs…I am sure I don’t have to explain this one
Relationships/Dating…ZERO…nuff said
Theme Parks…I am just NOT trying to be embarrassed and have to do a “walk of shame” when not fitting into rides
Clothing…Bigger = MORE EXPENSIVE and less options (we’ve come a long way but I still pay a lot for nice fitting clothes)

Etc, etc. etc.

The point behind this all is to say that my weight has long affected my life in ways that have not made me very happy and I am FINALLY at a point where I am ready, willing, and able to do something about it. 

So stay tuned...there is DEFINITELY more to come!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Who the Hell is Bebe?

I know if I were you that would be the very first thing that I would be asking. Not "who is this chick writing this blog." Not "what does she have to say?" but literally..."who the hell is Bebe?"

And that's pronounced like the gun in case you though it was some chic way of saying baby. I know it can be French but I am a southern girl so it's definitely like Bee-Bee that you use to shoot the pigs with.

Bebe comes from a rude comment made to me years ago...

Idiot: "You know honey, inside of you is a beautiful, thin woman just waiting to come out."
Snarky Me: "If she's in there I ate that bitch a LONG time ago!"

Now mind you I was of course pretty heated at the time which explains such a retort and my colorful language, but the message was all the same. That the person that I was on the outside was NOT the person that I truly was on the inside--at least not if you take the word of said idiot. Little did the idiot know that they couldn't have been closer to the truth if they tried.

After 29 years of life and ALL of it being overweight (ok so no one is a fat toddler...I went from cute baby, to fat little kid, to obese teenager, to morbidly obese adult, to "there are no other terms to describe the fact that I am HUGE and not healthy)--I decided to finally put my "surgery where my stomach is" and do something about it.

So finally...I am BREAKING OUT BEBE...that gorgeous, buxom (cause I gotta have my boobies), slender woman that's been patiently waiting inside me to get out all this time. And this gonna tell you all about my fight to get her here.

Come along with me if you dare...if nothing else, I PROMISE to make you laugh *wink*